Tuesday, November 1, 2011


When I have the worst day ever, that is when he speaks to me most. I seem to be in a mourning stage today... I was very upset and I didn't even seem to know why. I just kept quiet all day and wanted to cry most of the time. I started having thoughts that none of my friends love me and that they are all going to leave me... I was thinking about God and his existence...the lack of confidence I have. So many things were running through my head. I didn't even want to pray! Prayer is usually the first thing I mark off my list when I am having a bad day. For some reason I just don't ever want to look to him because sometimes my tiny mind perceives some really crazy things... Like, he made this happen to me... or the old, he cant help... Just things that Christians should never think. ANYONE should ever think. By the end of the day I was feeling that there is no point in showing people I love them because it wont impact them in any way... It will only break my heart. And by about 5 I was lacking that confidence and wanted to cry about multiple things... These things weren't things I usually think about on a daily basis! I was freaking my self out a little bit. So I had a plan!! I was going to go home and do all this homework I was assigned, pray pray pray and read my bible. The night continues... I am on facebook... Listening to songs about partying and drinking...  God speaks!!!!!!!

Just when I am at that point of deciding to not listen to his voice he speaks loud and clear into my ear. He speaks of inspiration, peace, love, hope, dreams.... He speaks the voice he has and the will of my life. He speaks of things that I already knew about but ways I can help! My geography teachers daughter is in Uganda for a year! She is a missionary. I am already inspired as it is to be a missionary... I don't exactly need much more motivation! I know that one day I will be on the mission field... So anyways back to my story... I wanted to see if she had posted any updates on their trip... She hadn't but she posted some super moving stuff. She was talking about faith and such! This wasn't exactly what I was moved by but the fact that she set her feet upon holy ground to be blessed and travel to great lengths to serve him!

Last week at church we had a prayer meeting. At the end of everything we just stood around the room and the mic was open for anyone who wanted to pray! At first we prayed for our selves and our lives. To be opened up and moved by him!! Then we prayed for a lady name Asia who was being held captive for her sharing her faith and was going to be killed. Then we prayed for her family of 5 kids and husband. After that it was all open mic. We were allowing God to speak into us and bring to us a message of prayer that could be shared with our group and let people see the prayers. I chose to pray for Ethiopia and my teachers daughter in Uganda. I just felt that God was speaking to me to pray for missionaries and Ethiopia anyway! Ethiopia is so poor. Some people barely ever get a good meal! It is horrible! So we prayed, I prayed! I took the mic with full confidence! I prayed for each missionary, Ethiopia, Uganda, the places that missionaries were at! People in this world need God's love and some may never hear it if we wouldn't pay to go on trips like this! Your lives are changed because God sent you as his living word to change someone else's life!

I just feel so blessed that I am loved by a great God who sent his son to die for me. I feel blessed that he is taking time to speak to me and make me see the power of prayer is greater than the power of sitting there in silence and thinking horrible thoughts. God wants to work in your life and he surely will if you allow him to. You were created to move and do his will. Your life is given to be used for his goodness. So right now as you are reading this pray for him to speak his will to you. Pray that you have to courage to go out and live his will out. Pray for all of his power to flow into you with love, mercy, peace, grace, hope!! Just ask him to have his way in your life so that when people look at you they see Jesus, not you!

Everyone have a great week!!!

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven!